Here is something from my own experience that definitely got in my way when it came time to decide what to do with my life: my stepfather became an entrepreneur when I was a young boy, right about the time he and I were developing what seemed to be a good relationship.

In addition to the obvious demands on his time, as he began to become successful his personality changed. He became colder, more distant… and our relationship pretty much disappeared. At least this was my impression.

I was just a kid, no expert in psychology or human nature – but I knew I was losing something important. I probably oversimplified the situation (although subsequent events indicated that my judgment had been surprisingly accurate) but the point is, I did draw conclusions from all this. It seemed to me that my stepfather’s increasing success in the world’s terms – money, influence, experience – came at the expense of his soul.

This sounds like such a cliché, I realize – but years later I learned about what novelist / philosopher Ayn Rand called the “mind-body dichotomy.” Mankind has been torn between feeding his body / starving his soul, and the converse, for eons. As a little kid I knew none of this, just that I didn’t want to wind up like my stepfather.

One consequence of all this has been a reluctance on my part to be as proactive as possible about my own financial affairs. Like everyone, I certainly appreciate the importance of money and financial security; I’m a reasonably intelligent guy. Why would I remain apathetic about something so important? I’m convinced it is connected to my relationship with my stepfather.

Since finances and career are so closely intertwined, my own career path has been more difficult than it might otherwise have been – partly, I am convinced, due to my ambiguity about wealth and success as I’ve described.

Our early experiences can have surprisingly powerful effects on our behavior in the present – including our career choices and actions. This type inquiry is sometimes dismissed as “blaming” others for our problems – which, I agree, doesn’t do any good whatsoever. But if there is something in your past that affects your life today – and possibly tomorrow – why not take a look at it?

Think about your own experiences. You’re responsible for your choices, but there is no harm in acknowledging your history and some of its possible effects on you today.